December 31, 2018, 6:03 pm. (phoenetic Massachusetts accent)]. :-D. Our biology is against us when it comes to long, monogamous relationships. Ray Singer, Dick Chevillat. He pulled this off by living on a small percentage of his income as a software engineer, and diligently . The good news is that we have had about the most amicable separation that one could hope for, we all still spend plenty of time together and our son is still in the same loving environment he has always had. Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Also we never talked bad about the other. The dating pool for 40 plus people is actually a wonderful place, as long as you live in an area with your own type of people (for me this is educated, oudoorsy professional types preferably a bit quirky and artsy and nerdy as well). December 31, 2018, 6:33 pm. Take a look in the mirra, ya dirty rat bastids! My divorce and loss of five kids was the biggest tragedy of my life but has led to the best thing in life: a solid and reliable relationship with God that brings peace and eventually a new marriage. For what its worth to you and this community, I went through this and now, 9 years later, I have nothing but gratitude for my former partner and mother of our teenaged son (he was 4 at the time). In fact, when rumour of our separation got out, multiple gossipy and negative and downright distasteful discussions formed around the Internet on Reddit, other bloggers websites, even right here on my own forum. And I would venture to say thatbothof us parents are going to come out of the experience much better off than we were before. You got me on track to live life from a position of strength and positivity. Hi! We must find these organizations ourselves. RelaxedGal Im thankful for this and all your stories, in that they will likely help people focus before its too late. I hope I never go through a divorce. Here are some of the reasons I've heard why MMM probably got a divorce: 1) Guilt and conflict. Im grateful to you for helping me get time off for good behavior. Finally somebody addressed that part of the marriage equation. Be well! Ill continue to use the surplus for projects and philanthropy just as before, but the point here is that ones relationship status does not have to affect their financial status. The answer is NO. Accept the temporary setbacks, wait out the storms and keep moving forward. It definitely is not easy. Junior Achievement morning shifts from about 8a-2pm at local schools or at JA Finance park Why are divorce attorneys so expensive? Mr. Money Mustache Divorce Blog Post Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free! Hope your son is doing well and my best wishes for you all in 2019. Welcome to the club! I would never advise someone to stay in an unhappy marriage out of fear of being single, and not questioning the choice of those who prefer to stay unmarried. So that's the bad news. December 31, 2018, 7:44 pm. She was the main bread winner and came out the winner with a lot more income for herself. And we can collect bathtubs full of sympathetic tears from our friends. They were saying money is going to be toilet paper." Just Stop Spending Seth My very amicable divorce became final just two days ago, and i find it normalizing and validating to read your experience. December 31, 2018, 5:51 pm. My own breakup 22 years ago was incredibly emotionally and financially difficult. So the bad news is that there is definitely such thing as too late. At some point, the idea of working on a marriage sounds like hell because you have been waiting for so long to be able to escape it. Appreciate your putting divorce in a positive light. I decided to keep improving my chances of a better paying job and decided to go to university. Trust and believe finding your site was a blessing. I was ready to move on in life. You or your loved ones will get sick and some of them will die. She spent that 6 months selling off many of the assets and giving big gifts to their children. Much like all things in life, theres an ebb and a flow to post-divorce life. I am also going through a divorce after separating from my husband last February. C.S. Im sorry you were the subject of gossip, but Im glad youve risen above the nonsense with such a positive post. Thanks for using the internet to inspire and improve peoples lives. Anyway, I agree with what youve said. As one friend puts it, Being a divorced coparent is like being the co-owner of a business. I am sad to hear about your divorce, but glad to hear that yall will keep mushing on as best as yall can. Alas sometimes parting ways is the best choice. Working from home, traveling by bike and eating at home save $, but its also lonely. Its so tough to even deal with clients that go through a divorce. A number of my friends have taken that angle, Stan, though not through crunching the numbers as you have. The biggest thing I got from this is how you and your former wife are able to maintain a healthy atmosphere for your child!! . You really need a cheap car for it to make sense. Sammykins It was one of the toughest actions Ive ever had to take in my life. The Money Mustache Community . Divorce sucks all round, but seems to be easier for the the one who planned to leave, theyve already laid out the groundwork for leaving long before the one that gets left has much of a clue. Mr. Money Mustache said that when he became a frugality apprentice, he was punched frequently and regularly on his face. December 31, 2018, 5:17 pm. there are thousands moreyou can find one that fits your style :), Wishing you the best on your journey. Cheers to a great future for us all! The Bludger December 31, 2018, 5:27 pm. Besides lowering your expenses to bare minimum, maybe you can rearrange your house (sleep all in the same room) to rent out other rooms to pay for the mortgage and even have some extra money left over. This was not my experience and it is my hope for those who are currently going through the initial stages of this process, or are years past the initial event and are still healing, to continue to let time work its mystical magic. Thank you so much for sharing this post MMM! Thankyou for this blog, it really has come at the right time.for me to read it. Its so hard in the beginning, but if you keep your childs best interests at the top of your decision-making pyramid, you will be ok. Luckily, my ex was ready to do the hard work, too. Mr. Money Mustache retired in his early thirties and has recently emerged as one of the most inspiring personal finance authors in cyberspace. The FIRE group also has some other meetings like game nights in addition to their monthly meeting. We were in constant communication, sometimes daily about what was happening in our kids worldhomework, sports, friends, etc. From the outside, it looked like a well-working marriage. ), read books, laugh, cry, learn mindfulness and meditation, eat salads, get outside and exercise, write more new things and build new things and new businesses and new relationships, and you will come through it better than ever. Anonymous Personally, I have found over 18 financial literacy organizations that every-day-people can volunteer for. I would describe myself as satisfactorily married. And read the other comments, to see what other people around you are feeling. So if you havent already heard through the rumor mill, the former Mrs. Money Mustache and I are no longer married. It ruins lives. And thank you for such a great blog! In some ways, its the opposite of passive income since you have to keep at it. Please keep up your valuable contribution to humanity. Wishing you all the best for a fresh start in 2019. I know this is unlikely but Im fine with never read that blog again. There are so many things, like being on each others team in times of hardship, and being genuinely excited and greeting your partner warmly at the door if theyve been away, that fall to the side in marriages as they get stale. Utah Valley It normally shuts them up when they get a note from their press complaints commission. Makes a lot of sense. Well, yeah. Our financial planner had me working until age 68 (2022) I ran the numbers again with the tools and common sense you provided. Focusing on the silver linings in life is something that I need to improve at, and this example can serve me well as a model. 3.5 years in, Im still a work in progress but know that Im okay and can enjoy life, and experience joy. It took four years off my sentence. I have been rereading your blog to see how I can keep my head above water. Take 100 marriages. I have a few questions: 1) Is there anything you and the mrs could have done different that could have prevented this? Hit the gym, go for a run, have lunch with a friend, read that inspiring book, listen to that light-humored podcast, integrate yourself back into life and let it take shape. Some of these (below) are nation-wide and some in Los Angeles County area only. Except its themost important company in the world and having it fail is not an option. Sounds like you all done good. That cant be easy to do with some people being what they are. mchrist152 The flipside of all this is that many, many people are currently married, who should not be and dont want to be. And finally there is the famedfinancial costof divorce. Having seen the documentary, Divorce, Inc. Im very happy you are settling this amicably and without spending the average 40K plus as expected. (I explain this to my friends before they get married.). Maybe she got tired of Mustachianism. Thinking of you all, and wishing you all the best. Punch excessive spending in the face and find the best way to put your employees (as in your savings) to work for you. SwordGuy I am so happy to hear that and hope that every happily married couple will FIRE IT UP in 2019 to make their good thing better. Thank you for sharing this. And mellower and friendlier. I have spent eight years recovering financially from a messy separation. Sure, you'd like to see your savings grow. ; as my one and only quarter-of-a-century marriage had ended earlier in the year. Still, having been through it, I wouldnotrecommend divorce as a decision to be taken lightly. February 1, 2019, 10:02 am. ThatGuy. And I find it to be important to pay attention to what peoples actions say, and how they can affect you, and how those actions affect relationships. MMM says that a 5% withdrawal rate will last 50+ years. Happy New Year to you! They are who they are and while you cant change them, you cant make the world any better by spitting venom back at them., This quote really articulated how I have been feeling of late and obviously applies to humanity as a whole. Aim to not fight ever during the process (even if you have to start from zero or negative). Jacob (Early Retirement . Mr. Smith represents a threat / battle / death to society. It adds pain to an already difficult situation. The good news is that we have had about the most amicable separation that one could hope for, we all still spend plenty of time together and our son is still in the same loving environment he has always had. Mr. Money Mustache retired in his early thirties and has recently emerged as one of the most inspiring personal finance authors in cyberspace. I want to FIRE so I can spend more time with my family and be the type of father and husband you are, so this news came as a shock and a reminder of how difficult marriage is. I determined that you have very little control over someone elsess happiness, especially at middle age. Read about how to stay married early and often. In my experience, of folks in my extended family, the hurt and anger turns the kid into a pawn to hurt the other parent. Another inspirational and honest piece of writing. Plus I was not the boss of the house. Thank you. You continue to be a role model to me. If anything, use the experience for the valuable life lessons, and count the many blessings in your life and continue to build on them. In March of 2017, I listened to you on the Tim Ferriss podcast and then devoured your entire backlist. In reality life (and marriage) is a complex and changing process which includes kids as well as getting old and weaker. Jeremiah Add to that a divorce where I left with nothing, as I don't believe in spousal support ( I know). In my experience and from discussions with others (women mostly so its a fairly skewed premise) the initiator has just already worked through the realisation and subsequent grief of the relationships end. I had no idea until I met up with Carl (Mr. 1500) at the MMM HQ last month and he mentioned it. I know the hurt, especially at those times when you kiss your kids goodbye until your next assigned custody day(s) to spend with them, and how quiet the house can seem when its just you and your thoughts. And easier. Actually, Jim Krueger, An early bandmate of Daves, wrote that one. Frogdancer Jones TheAngelsReply Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community.
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